Your Voice, Your Strength - Your Experiences of Pregnancy or Postpartum and Eating Disorders

This year's Maternal Mental Health Awareness Week's theme was 'Your Voice, Your Strength', so we wanted to give you the opportunity to share your experience of being pregnant or postpartum with an eating disorder.

We asked our followers three questions, to outline their stories, and what they would like to see in the future for better support for those affected by eating disorders. Find out their responses below...

What were the most challenging aspects of being pregnant while having an eating disorder - and what helped you cope with these?

“I was trying to recover from an eating disorder whilst pregnant and found it incredibly difficult. I was still engaging in my eating disorder habits and really couldn’t commit to recovery. I was over exercising and skipping meals and didn’t seem to understand that I was pregnant. I dissociated myself from the pregnancy completely (he was my third), and I believe this was the eating disorders doing. I didn’t bond at all with the bump, and I struggled with the fact I HAD to eat something because I had to fuel a baby. I think this is why I didn’t connect to the pregnancy because really I blamed the baby for changing my body. Thankfully when he was born my bond came, and although I felt incredibly guilty for not having a connection to him for 9 months, I continue in my recovery with my team.” - Kirsty

“The change in my shape and weight, going from the smallest to the biggest I’ve ever been was hard to watch and feel comfortable with. The second was the social commentary [...] people will make passing comments such as ‘oh you’re getting so big’ which can be very difficult to hear and not want to dive back into your old behaviours. Third, is the lack of understanding in the healthcare system. I currently live overseas and, here, they don’t understand when you explain that you don’t want to know your weight, in fact my doctor told me I’d put on too much weight which felt devastating. The final is the morning sickness. With both my pregnancies I was sick for the whole time and I had to eat through it, often more food and things I wouldn’t choose normally just to get through the day. I spent a lot of time really digging into all the coping strategies I’d learnt in therapy, the main thinking about my reason why - I want my children to be healthy and I want to be healthy too so I can be here for them.” - Rachel

“I had experience of an eating disorder (anorexia) when I was pregnant with my third baby. It's something that I had suffered with prior to becoming pregnant with her but was technically in recovery from. I identified it myself being the problem, and reached out to my old care coordinators for help where I found that there was still a significant waiting list and I was referred on to a charity, who had a slightly shorter waiting list. However, I knew that the problem would get worse once the baby was born and it did. And unfortunately, I didn't manage to access the care until a few months after she was born. So, I was left struggling by myself without that support that I needed. [...] It took quite a lot of the joy out of the first few months of her life and to an extent, it still does. So I'm still trying to manage body dysmorphia and anorexia in the postpartum phase and she's nearly a year old now. I just really wish that there had been specialist kind of maternal support, who would understand the changes to body image and feelings in relation to eating and stuff that I faced when I was pregnant with her. It was very, very difficult to access service at that point.” - Jayde

“I was pregnant with my son while having a history of anorexia nervosa which had not been addressed properly medically. So I still struggled with my eating disorder thoughts and symptoms. I think the most important help I received during this time was through the perinatal mental health team. I highly recommend working closely with them during your pregnancy. Through working with them I was able to stay healthy during my pregnancy. My son is now 4 years old and thriving. I send all my love and support to those navigating the difficulties of an eating disorder while pregnant.” - Victoria

What was something expectantly healing for you for your eating disorder while pregnant or postpartum?

“I find appreciation for my body. Or at least, even on days that feel less positive, neutrality towards my body. I feel some tenderness for it, and the things it can do, and has done, including keeping my babies safe while they grew. I was really upset when I first noticed stretch marks, but I really do love them now. That might feel like an impossibly difficult thing to believe, and it’s a long way from the constant scrutiny I used to feel towards my body. But what a reminder of how far I have come.” - Kelly

“I’m currently 4 months postpartum and it has been tricky but I would say one positive is that I have become a bit more relaxed about the food I’m eating and trying to live more in the moment after months of sickness. I also know that I am resilient, while the pregnancies were challenging, I got through them so I know I can continue to get better.” - Rachel

“Just getting the most precious gifts life can ever give. 6 years with no period and numerous health conditions as a result of my anorexia meant children were always a question mark for me. Having two beautiful children are my motivation to carry on everyday.” - Natasha

What changes do you think should be made to the healthcare system to those with eating disorders who are pregnant?

“Awareness and understanding are key to improvements in support. Ultimately, healthcare professionals need to understand the complexity of the illness and how it can be heightened during this time. They need to know how to treat an individual who is suffering/has suffered - from language used to behaviours such as weighing and measuring. Unfortunately we still live in a world where the media and people will pass comment on other people’s appearance and it feels more common during pregnancy and postpartum where you feel a lot of judgement and pressure to ‘bounce back’.“ - Rachel

“An increased understanding of eating disorders, how they present, how common they are even within maternal health. My changing body was difficult to navigate. I found the first trimester the most difficult. I will have had notes on my health record to show my history of an eating disorder, this was not once mentioned to me, nor was support offered, at any stage of either pregnancy.” - Kelly

“I believe that individuals with autism may have increased needs when it comes to accessing appropriate treatment for eating disorders, given the unique patterns of eating associated with autism. As a late-diagnosed autistic adult, I realised the importance of this connection. Had I been aware of this during my pregnancy, it could have enabled me to access more suitable treatment and support to better manage my eating disorder.” - Adeshola

If you want to find out more about eating disorders or pregnancy or postpartum, head to our page here: Pregnancy and eating disorders.

And, if you're supporting someone who is pregnant or postpartum and has an eating disorder, head here: Supporting someone with an eating disorder and pregnancy.